Self Care Diet

What about me!!??

I found myself looking in the mirror asking this question as I brushed my teeth a week ago. I was seconds away from slipping into self-pitty after thinking about the week I had. I’ll come clean and say that I am hard on myself. I like to keep everything high, my standard and heels. There was no way I could endure another day without some self care. This term is growing in popularity as women realize that you can’t pour from an empty cistern and there is no guilt in taking care of yourself.


So last Friday, I excused myself from my entrepreneurial duties and laid down my mommy cape for a day to myself. No emails, no contracts, no meetings, and no nursing (JESUS..HELP!). It was time to indulge in my self care diet. Outfitted with my fedora hat, praying’ & slayin’ tee, and plaided wrap I B-lined to the front door on my way to partake in my self care diet.

SELF-CARE DIET

  • Lunch
  • Nails
  • Shopping
  • Something sweet

First up was something to eat. I don’t like to waste eating opportunities on wack food, so I headed to Townhouse, a gem restaurant tucked away in Emeryville for lunch. I felt super fancy when I pulled up and they had complimentary valet. Having doors opened for me always puts me in a good mood. I totally enjoy having lunch by myself. I used to feel weird about going to eat alone, but now I relish in the opportunity to eat at my leisure, bring a book along, or make extra conversation with the server. A steak salad was my selection along with a tall glass of H20.

Next up was a trip to Nordstrom Rack. The location in San Leandro has a better selection than the one in Emeryville, but this shopping visit was explicitly for new panties and bras. I wanted to treat myself to a new set that made me feel good when I looked in the mirror. I am so ready to retire the nursing bras. To ensure the self-care didn’t end on that day I also picked up some body scrub and monogramed stemware so I feel fancy when sipping my pink lemonades. The family has been put on notice that those glasses are just for me!

Last Friday was Chinese New Year, so guess who that impacted the two nail shops I had to go to? The first one had limited services, and the second asked for me to come back in two hours. Now that I have acrylic nails, fills are mandatory, so I brought my tail back. Surprisingly I’ve had the same set since November! That probably means nothing to you, but it was my wedding day in 2006 which was the last time I had gotten “a full set”.

A date is never complete without something sweet. To satisfy my craving I stopped by good ole See’s Candy for five pieces of pecan buds. OMG, I love those things!

The day went by way to fast, but my husband and kids would attest that I arrived home much more at peace and full.  So tell me, what does your self care diet look like?

When Grace Finds You

Growing up my siblings, along with my first cousins and I used to play a game. This game kept us active and smelling like puppies as we rummaged the streets of Inglewood. I recently discovered that my children love the game of Hide and Seek too! If you were “it” you had to find and tag other players in the game as they hid under cars, in trees, within bushes, and behind parked cars. When you were found you were upset, doubted your hiding abilities or thought someone was cheating. Bottom line it wasn’t cool to be found.

Today as I reach the milestone of two months postpartum (not sure when you stop counting) I am confident to say that grace has found me. The Lord must have secretly been playing this game with me, but after careful review of my life and being asked, “How have you been since you’ve had the baby?” my answer remains “I have been graced!” Grace found me as a train of meals were delivered daily to my doorstep the weeks following Jayla’s arrival. Grace was laid upon my shoulders as loved ones visited to lend a hand to household chores. Grace gently kissed me on the check as Jayla began a steady schedule that allowed me a decent amount of sleep at night and productive during the day. I am so grateful that God loves me to know what I can handle and when to send help. We are now

We are now a family of five which is the number of grace. My husband’s ability to discern when I was close to the edge then he stepped right on in was surely grace in the flesh. The boys have been able to gracefully share our love and attention with their sister. Most recently, I found myself getting stressed and having growing anxiety trying to manage my responsibilities. Typically, that is a sign that I am operating outside of God’s grace. My next steps are to take a step back, get some rest, or ask for help.

I am learning as a person of purpose, grace is a requirement for reaching your destiny. Some of my favorite scriptures are bursting with the promise of grace.

And He said to me, “My GRACE is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.II Corinthians 12:9

And God is able to make all GRACE abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.II Corinthians 9:8

I find encouragement from these two passages in the following ways:

  1. When I am feeling weak it is a reminder that God’s grace can find me here.
  2. It prevents me from thinking I have to always have it all together. If I continue to fake the funk and pretend to be strong, Jesus can’t step in to help.
  3. There is sufficiency in Christ. (Whoa…I can say that again) This scripture becomes an internal check to consider if I am placing more dependency on others, myself, or systems instead of God. He is all we need!
  4. God’s grace leads to abundance! So again, I ask myself, “Am I banking on grace or on me?” It’s a better turnout when I’m on the lookout for His grace.

These are promises worth standing on. So if and when you find yourself lost and in over your head, meditate on these scriptures then pray for God’s grace to find you.

Tag, you’re it! 🙂

Meaning Behind @jaylatheheiress

In the age of social media where photo snapping and life sharing is the norm, I said what the heck and decided to start Jayla an Instagram account. What mother doesn’t believe their child is the cutest, sweetest, most adorable, and talented in the world. Add a few trending hashtags and she may just land a modeling contract…right? With our first born Jaylen, my husband and I decided to get him involved in modeling. And guess who landed their very first casting with children’s clothing line Carter’s? That’s right, Jaylen did.

So will Jayla enter the modeling world, maybe…maybe not. But most importantly when I was considering a profile name for Instagram I wanted something unique, catchy, but also prophetic in the sense that whenever it was spoken or typed purpose was being released over her life. I landed with @jaylatheheiress for two reasons:

  1. It puts a demand on both my husband and me to leave something for her to inherit.

The dictionary defines “heiress” in the following ways:

  • a woman who is legally entitled to the property or rank of another on that person’s death.
  • a woman inheriting and continuing the legacy of a predecessor.

Considering both of these definitions it starts with both my husband and I. As a parent and now being a mother of a daughter I feel a greater burden to be a Godly example for my daughter, provide a leg up for her, and make priceless deposits throughout my life span into her life that yields something beyond what I could wish or pray for her. It always rubbed me the wrong way when I hear parents wishing for their children to be rich so they can buy them a house when they “make it.” The bible says that “a good man/woman leaves an inheritance to his children’s children” Meaning, it’s the responsibility of the parent to leave something, not the other way around. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not all about money and houses, but please believe I’m working hard to make it easier for the generations coming behind me and not depending on them to help me.

As Jayla’s mother I want to leave her financial wealth so when she comes up with an idea to start a business, she has the funds to do so. I want to leave her a legacy of wisdom so she can make wise decisions herself. If we are honest, there are many people in places of power strictly because of their last name. We can’t hate on that but aim to position ourselves for that same privilege for our children.

2. As children of God, we are His heirs.
God promises that if His children love Him they become heirs of the kingdom of God (James 2:5). More clearly highlighted in Romans 8:16-17 “The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ…”

As believers, we automatically become Christ’s heirs. It is my prayer and heart desire that Jayla will one day come to know Christ as her Savior and be adopted into the family of faith. With this adoption, she has the same wonder working power of Christ working inside of her.

So when I call Jayla, “Jayla the heiress” I am speaking her salvation into existence. I am speaking her rightful royal place with the Lord over her life. Jayla will live out every promise God has for her as a child of God. No living below one’s potential, no fearful life, no identity confusion, and no lack.

While an inheritance is what you receive, an heiress is who you are. Jayla’s title as “the heiress” is not to add greater pressure to her life, but a standard to live up to.

The legacy we want to leave behind for Jayla is one of faith, perseverance, integrity, compassion, prosperity, and love. Welcome to the world Jayla Simone Hammock, aka @jaylatheheiress