Ugh! WTH? OMG! Are just a few ways I respond when discouragement begins to hit my life. The feeling of discouragement can feel like a bee sting, a quick and sharp pain that appears from no where. Discouragement can also be filled with agony and a strong emotional pull towards depression if you don’t manage it properly. I will be honest and say the bulk of my most discouraging moments were due to sources outside of my control. When I would announce events the lack luster response levels would shoot down my initial hype. I was discouraged when we were unable to buy a house this year. I felt discouraged when relationship expectations were not met.

It is safe to say each day can present countless opportunities to become discouraged. This is one of the reasons why I stress to my children the fact that things will not always go your way. As children the smallest things can rain on their parade. Sometimes its an unfavorable lunch menu to not getting your favorite seat in the car. When I was considering topics for this month’s webinar at first I wanted to teach about subjects connected to entrepreneurship or strategic planning. While both of these topics are great and needful, it dawned on me that no one can escape the emotion of discouragement because let’s face it life happens. It’s about what you do with life’s lemons and sour circumstances that will navigate you away from discouragement and to your dreams.

I believe that the best way you can help others is by guiding them through experiences you have conquered. It’s not that I never get discouraged or always find my way to success because I don’t! But I can detect when I’m drawing near the deep end and need to change my perspective about the situation so I can flourish and reach my destiny. So if you find yourself like me discouraged from time to time, register for my webinar that I pray encourages you. Please leave any questions in the comment box so I can answer them on the webinar. I’m praying for you!


You Owe It To Yourself

Do you remember the comical line “Give me my money!” by Chris Tucker in the movie Friday? Craig played by Ice Cube owed Smokey a bet, and he was ready to collect. I’m sure you are just like me. A woman who pours out so much to her family, community, business, and others but now is the time to pay yourself. Sister…you owe it to yourself! Self-care is a fairly new term that has become mainstream, but many have not fully embraced it nor understands the power in it. When you take the time to prioritize yourself you make room for joy and kick anxiety out the door. Those who benefit from us most will notice the shadow of grace and ease over your life when you have taken the time to put yourself first. When you embrace the need for your own desires and hopes to be met you aren’t as quick to go off and carry the baggage of resentment.

While I am certain single women have an unique battle of their own, I want to highlight the necessity of putting yourself first as a married woman. Too often our identities are carefully molded around who our husbands are and the needs of our children. Some women have lost their zeal for life because their purpose has been buried under the piles of laundry and their second job as your kids personal Uber driver. My personal struggle has not been with the guilt of treating myself. It has been the ability to prioritize myself and voice my desires. For Pete sake I would like to see a movie that isn’t animated every once in a while. No, I don’t want to spend the holidays with your family this year, I can whip up a tasty meal of my own. This may seem like I’m venting, but see that’s what happens when you don’t understand that you do indeed owe it to yourself to put yourself first often. If you have a decent loving husband, he will also support this decision. The saying is true, “Happy wife, happy life :)”

So the question begs to ask, how do you balance the needs of your family and still handle your responsibilities. In my opinion, it comes down to…

  1. Godly wisdom
  2. Planning

There will be seasons in life when undoubtedly more time, money and effort will need to be spent on others things than yourself. When you exercise the wisdom of God frustration will be far from you when the nail shop isn’t on the agenda this week. When it is best you spend your weekend on the sidelines cheering on your son, their will be fulfillment that comes from that experience. The great thing about owing it to yourself, it’s not a daily expenditure. When you feel yourself running on low, nerves wearing thin, and you can’t remember the last time you had dinner with a cloth napkin it might be about that time.

Lastly, you can only plan when you know what you need and can communicate it to others. Sometimes, it is as simple as, “Babe, by time Thursday comes around I am tired and need some extra time to myself. Can you put the kids to bed early while I get a chance to _________________?” You fill in the blank. You know how much you can handle, you know when its time to decompress, and you should know your triggers.

You owe it to yourself to:

*love yourself

*know yourself

*prioritize yourself