Have you ever been in a ping pong text message battle with someone about something ridiculous? Each person on the other end is trying to convince the other to see the situation through their lenses. “Don’t you see how that would make me feel?” “Don’t you understand how that doesn’t make sense?” These are the thoughts that are going through the minds of those engaged in this deadly non-verbal communication match. So the question is, when is it time to walk away, when should you raise the white flag or be the “bigger” person and say “O.K. you win”
First off, I kinda hate communicating via text. So much can be misunderstood, a word misspelled, caps are interpreted as yelling and don’t include an emoji that ticks them off. It’s just not the best way for two mature people to communicate, so let’s make that clear. With that, how do you have a healthy dialogue when there are two opposing sides?
- Look for an underling issue
Am I the only one who sometimes has to pause and do a double take at the phone to make sure you’re talking to the right person. I mean this person is sounding like a lunatic and clearly outside of their mind. Many times people speak out of their emotions and not reality. So a mature person has to maintain a level of grace for the person on the other end. Your conversation may be reminding them of the frequent arguments they had with her mother growing up, or the “no” you just dealt them was a blow to their ego. Simply put, at times it has absolutely nothing to do with you.
2. Guard your heart
Chances are at the end of the conversation the other person will not agree with you, but don’t allow that to harden your heart. You don’t want to leave the conversation more frustrated than when you began. We all have free will and the decision to take it or leave it. Give them that same space and make sure you leave the situation whole.
3. Choose to be the bigger person
I know you want to give them a piece of your mind, throw shade, tell them about themselves and maybe deep inside you want them to feel the pain you have felt, but don’t go there. How can you be the light if your words are harmful? God gets the glory when our light shines, not dims. You may have to hold your tongue, archive the truth in your memory that would really hurt instead of expressing it. Bottom line you must be the bigger person.
Since we’ve established the other person is stuck to their perspective, what would be the point of slinging mud?? Oh surely, reminding them of their faults and short comings will make them change their minds….NOT!! Scripture explains how hatred stirs up strife, but LOVE covers a multitude of sin. It’s going to take humility to take the higher road and a desire to protect your witness. Hopefully, you see the benefit of agreeing to disagree so you can protect your witness and allow love to abide.