Agreeing To Disagree

Have you ever been in a ping pong text message battle with someone about something ridiculous? Each person on the other end is trying to convince the other to see the situation through their lenses. “Don’t you see how that would make me feel?” “Don’t you understand how that doesn’t make sense?” These are the thoughts that are going through the minds of those engaged in this deadly non-verbal communication match. So the question is, when is it time to walk away, when should you raise the white flag or be the “bigger” person and say “O.K. you win”

First off, I kinda hate communicating via text. So much can be misunderstood, a word misspelled, caps are interpreted as yelling and don’t include an emoji that ticks them off. It’s just not the best way for two mature people to communicate, so let’s make that clear. With that, how do you have a healthy dialogue when there are two opposing sides?

  1. Look for an underling issue

Am I the only one who sometimes has to pause and do a double take at the phone to make sure you’re talking to the right person. I mean this person is sounding like a lunatic and clearly outside of their mind. Many times people speak out of their emotions and not reality. So a mature person has to maintain a level of grace for the person on the other end. Your conversation may be reminding them of the frequent arguments they had with her mother growing up, or the “no” you just dealt them was a blow to their ego. Simply put, at times it has absolutely nothing to do with you.

2. Guard your heart

Chances are at the end of the conversation the other person will not agree with you, but don’t allow that to harden your heart. You don’t want to leave the conversation more frustrated than when you began. We all have free will and the decision to take it or leave it. Give them that same space and make sure you leave the situation whole.

3. Choose to be the bigger person

I know you want to give them a piece of your mind, throw shade, tell them about themselves and maybe deep inside you want them to feel the pain you have felt, but don’t go there. How can you be the light if your words are harmful? God gets the glory when our light shines, not dims. You may have to hold your tongue, archive the truth in your memory that would really hurt instead of expressing it. Bottom line you must be the bigger person.

Since we’ve established the other person is stuck to their perspective, what would be the point of slinging mud?? Oh surely, reminding them of their faults and short comings will make them change their minds….NOT!! Scripture explains how hatred stirs up strife, but LOVE covers a multitude of sin. It’s going to take humility to take the higher road and a desire to protect your witness. Hopefully, you see the benefit of agreeing to disagree so you can protect your witness and allow love to abide.

Steps After Defeat

STEPS AFTER DEFEAT
If you’re a Golden State Warriors’ fan, the sting from the Game 7 loss is still surreal. To loose is one things, but to loose at home after a historic season with the MVP on your team just makes it even worse. We’ve all been there before wishing and hoping for the victory, but instead we have to humbly take the L. But what’s next…do you linger in self-pity, play the blame game or pick your head up and accept the good with the bad?

If I was a trusted friend to any of the Warriors I would ask them to consider this…

1. Look at what you have already achieved

The team may be stumped by the pain of loosing the title of “2016 NBA Champions”, but consider the 73 game winning streek they accomplished this year. There is NO OTHER team that can put that feather in their hat and it speaks VOLUMES to how much of an awesome team they are. Take time to look at the past victories which should give you confidence in knowing there is still greatness within you.

2. They may have the title, but you have each other

The chemistry of the Warriors is undeniable. While Curry is the MVP and most popular player, they continue to operate with a “TEAM” mentality. They have genuine love for each other and that is something a title can’t give you. So many times is life we place things, titles and money on a pedestal, when the things which are most important can’t be worn, put away in a safe or hung on a wall. These are the blessings, money can’t buy.

3. Determine what you have gained from the lost

So many times when things don’t happen our way, hurdles are placed on our path and we flat out loose, we forget to allow those experiences to teach us something. God promises to work ALL THINGS together for our good. Possibly, they’ve gained a greater hunger to win next season, new training strategies, or what NOT to do next time. Allow your enemies, setbacks and mishaps to serve as your servant to teach, mold and shape you into a better person than you were before you had to face disappointment.

Each day gives us new opportunities to make adjustments, gain insight and employ every experience to be better. Defeat isn’t permeant, but our attitude towards it will determine the next steps we take.

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Take Action

To many the reconstructed Bay Bridge is a great visual treat and 8.4 miles of engineering genius. It’s definitely a few notches up from the dilapidated bridge that sits to its right built over 70 years ago. The Bay Bridge daily allows over 270,000 commuters to get to work, experience both the East Bay and San Francisco day in and day out. Not too long ago there was a bridge closure which prevented drivers from crossing the bridge. This caused drivers to find alternate routes. Bridges are great connectors and allows access to a final destination which is on the other side of an obstacle, in this instance, a large body of water.

The biggest barrier between you and your dreams are not like the issues of those on “bridge closure day”, your barrier between your now and your then is the choice to TAKE ACTION! Many times we so desperately want what’s on the other side, but our lack of action keeps us from obtaining it. Faith without works is dead, believing, but not pursuing is insanity, this is a common issue for many.  Taking the first step of submitting the application, opening up your mouth to ask, and writing down your vision are the small action steps needed to reach dreams.

 

Take Action

Hesitation leads to devastation, because if you’re too paralyzed to move you’ll stay stuck. I’m writing this blog to encourage you that…

  • Your dream is worth the work

Whether your dream is to be a millionaire or simply to graduate from school, every goal begins with an action step. There will be times when you doubt yourself, want to give up, and believe you’re insufficient. The moment you divorce those thoughts and take action of posting about your new venture or reserving your domain name, creates momentum so you can succeed to the next level. So do the work that is necessary, invest in yourself and your brand, grow in your learning and expertise. It will be all worth it in the end.

Use these 5 ways to TAKE ACTION towards your dreams:

  1. Write them out
  2. Find an accountability partner
  3. Create a 30-day work flow schedule with deadlines
  4.  Register for the Dream Chaser Empowerment Workshop
  5. Reward yourself when you reach your goals

Hello June!!!

Are you cheering, making it rain and celebrating this first day of the month?? Do you smell the summer vacations, music festivals, warm summer nights and the chance to tune-up your life. June marks the half-way point of the year and an opportunity to gauge  how well we have intentionally taken steps closer to our dreams and realized the things we placed on our vision boards back in December. I have proclaimed that 2016 is the BEST year of my life and so should you.

With that I want to encourage you to use the month of June as an adrenaline shot to get you refocused, taking strategic steps towards destiny and becoming even the more motivated about your purpose. When we operate in our purpose we change the lives of others, we get a chance to exercise our gifts, and fulfill the reason we were put on this Earth. Each day that calendar date changes  should be  exciting and not a bore because you know you have work to do! So as you greet June do it with tenacity, vigor, passion, and purpose!

Here are a few ways you can maximize the month of June:

1.Start working out!

Take advantage of the extra hours of daylight and go on a family stroll, evening jog, or a hike (no pund intended :). DAM Sport Fitness has some really great trainers that will get you ON POINT and Oakland’s own Ryan Austin leads a dynamic  5:30am group workout class.

2. Suspend one naughty food items from your diet.

If you’re like me, I eat WAY too many sweets. Your weakness may be soda, coffee, chocolate, milk shakes, or bread.  Making just a slight adjustment in your diet will help you become a bit more disciplined and reach your fitness goals.

3. Join a summer bible group/reading plan

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There is nothing more refreshing than the word of God. Dedicating some time to intentionally fellowship with believers and open of the word of God will do wonders for your faith, confidence and understanding of God’s will for your life. (Check out YouVersion they have a TON and The Sisterhood will have a weekly group in July.)

So my prayer for you is that June becomes just as exciting as January. Be sure to utilize this season to take care of yourself and intentionally run towards destiny. I hope you invest more in the inner man, than what you put on top of the outer man this season. May goodness and mercy follow you, all the days of your life!

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Dream Chasers